Read that again. YOUR. BODY. IS. NOT. THE. PROBLEM!!!!
TW: Body image, Diet culture.
Memories popped up on my Facebook from my high school spring break. As I was going through the pictures of me and my friends, I had a smile on my face, remembering what a blast that trip was, how much fun I had with my friends and the memories that were made. But then, pictures of me in my bathing suit popped up, and my heart sank. I know what you may be thinking- "Oh she just doesn't like her body, so she dreads taking pictures in her bikini and absolutely hates to see how they turn out." Well, no, not exactly.
My heart sank because as I viewed the pictures, looking at my high-school body- the body that allowed me to play vigorous, travel volleyball for eight years, the one that allowed me to laugh and make precious memories with my friends, the one that continued to support me despite all of the sh!t that I put it through- all of the "flaws" I'd pick out, all of the negative and hateful things I said about it, and wished I could change; I felt heartbroken.
Looking at those pictures, I vividly remembered how much I hated my body back then. I remember constantly comparing myself to others and wanting to change the way I looked, because I didn't feel like my body was good enough.
And seeing these pictures today, looking at my body without judgment, and thinking about how I viewed myself back then, it truly hurt my heart. My vision of myself and perception of my body was so stinking far from accurate. Viewing those pictures today, my heart broke for my high school self, the girl who was so convinced that my body was a problem, constantly wishing to change it. The girl who was incredibly unhappy and insecure, despite being at my smallest size.
Unfortunately, I know that I'm not alone in this. I know this because phrases like "high-school skinny" exist. But join me in challenging yourself, if you ever have the thought that “If I lost weight I'd be happier," to counter that with calling absolute bullsh!t. Because your body is not the problem, nor will it ever be the problem. The problem lies within our minds, how we speak to ourselves. Which is not entirely our fault. We live in a fat-phobic diet culture, a culture that is constantly encouraging us to shrink and change our bodies, because thinner=better right? NO!!!!!! Our happiness does not lie in something as temporary as our looks. After all, if you look at the "ideal" beauty standards over the decades, they are constantly changing. Yet diet culture convinces us that we are not good enough unless we can match that ever-changing, unrealistic standard. Our happiness lies in our mindset, in our soul. I challenge you, next time a diet culture thought comes into your mind, tempting you to pick apart your body or wish for change, convincing you that you aren't good enough because you don't look a certain way, thank your body instead- think about everything it has gotten you through, all of the memories it has allowed you to make and enjoy, and its resilience and loyalty to you despite what it has been through.
We are absolutely good enough as we are. The size of our bodies does not determine our health, nor does it determine our happiness. Embrace the body that you have because it is your home, and it’s the only one you get, and it's BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. So let’s stop criticizing our bodies and instead marvel at how much they do for us! The messages of diet culture are everywhere, and they are loud, yes, but let’s work to dismantle these toxic thoughts and messages, and strive for a life of freedom and self-love!!! But as always- progress, not perfection.
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